Attendances Plummet as Quality Declines

Nope, not the SPL, but the recent Labour and Liberal Conferences, in Dundee and Perth respectively.

In the Caird Hall, with a capacity of 3000 (optimism? Look under Scottish Labour), the black curtains were out in force halfway up the hall to disguise the fact that at most 400-500 souls turned up for the big speeches.

Even at that, around 20% of the seats were empty to listen to Iain’s sermon on the iniquities of the SNP.

(In case you’re interested – approximate figures during the speech were;

new policies – Zero.

Mentions of Labour – 22

Mentions of SNP - 21

Gordon Brown – 2

Salmond - 14)

And as usual the whole thing turned into an Orwellian “two days of hate” event in which successive keynote speakers vied with each other to slag off the government.

Not very different, in fact, to the LibDems, who kicked off with mad Ming the Mollickator in full Rule Britannia patrician mode, as, with serene and noble brow, he put in his plagiarised and unoriginal ha’pence worth.

But back to attendances.

Observing the clusters of activists in Perth, I was reminded of a pastiche of a ‘red nose day’ event on ‘Dropping the Dead Donkey’ where a shot of a reported surrounded by a crowd of happy party freaks, pulled back to reveal that there were only ten people in the room.

Perth Concert Hall was as empty as a Bernard Manning Concert at Edinburgh Uny Gay Soc, with only the very front stalls inhabited, and probably only a third to half full at that.

What do these attendances tell us?

Well, it looks like the MPs, MSPs, MEPs are on a three line whip to turn up at these things, as usual.

More importantly, as conference is meant to be a policy forum, why did so few Labour and LibDem members and activists simply deem it unnecessary to turn up?

Are they truly so committed to saving the environment that a collective decision to minimise transport driven carbon emissions persuaded them all to stay at home and watch Randolph Scott westerns on BBC 2?

This is unlikely.

I wonder if it’s not the case that many of them are simply so familiar with the script – namely “don’t bother about policy, let’s slag off the Nats” that they just got bored at the prospect.

I had to grin at Tavish on a couple of occasions, though.

Evidently the SNP government has accepted the LibDems economic policies in full.

Unfortunately, Iain Gray thinks the same thing about Labour policies, and neither of them appear right.

And, of course, the reference to the ‘chaotic transport policy’ of the government was worth the admission fee alone.

Can it be that he Tavish referring to the cut of 50% in Forth Bridge costs, when the Libbys wanted to pay full whack?

Chaos indeed.

Or maybe, he’s talking about the Edinburgh Trams Scheme, the brainchild of one Tavish Scott, when he was a minister, and which is now in chaos, and is gridlocking Edinburgh streets daily, and destroying businesses throughout the centre of the city.

Now, to be fair, conferences are NOT the places to go if you want to hear detailed and forensic analysis from opposition parties.

It just seems a shame that both Labour and the Libbys have made negativism such a shibboleth that they’re even starting to drive away their own supporters.