Fans of that glorious piece of cinematographic hokum "Anaconda" will be familiar with the legendary scene in which the titular hero, having devoured Jon Voight whole, regurgitates him to make room for a more toothsome ScoobySnack, namely Jennifer Lopez. (see right for the ins and outs of the process).
And who could possibly blame it.
Now, Anacondas do not, in real life, have the ability to choose between meals on the basis of the victim's acting abilities or sartorial attractiveness; rather, they regurgitate nosh when they are in danger, and need to scarper sharpish.
So it is (thanks for bearing with me on this by the way) with the Lloyds Banking Group.
Following the incredible carve up of the HBOS group when it was sold on the cheap to Lloyds, the EU competition watchdog has cried "enough, Lloyds. Ye have now got your mitts on way too many Scottish high street outlets, it's time to flog a few of them".
So, ironically, Lloyds is being forced to sell off its TSB branches.
You remember the Trustee Savings Bank, of course.
It was a Scottish bank, ostensibly in the control of its' members, until that is it merged with Lloyds in 1995, following a high court decision that the members didn't really count that much after all.
The EU decision is indeed a handy one for Lloyds, as, having bought HBOS for £12bn in the recent fire sale, they got themselves deep in the gumbo due to the
Hence the forced sale, and the regurgitation of the previously immolated TSB, followed by the sight of Lloyds wriggling disconsolately off into the undergrowth.
Sometimes nature's ways are the best, after all.
